Love Bug

It's the first day of the Love Month and I am spending it on my deathbed. Oh, the irony.

Since it is February, I'll indulge myself to talk about love and romantic shiznit. So, let me lay out my views on love (yes, you'll definitely read lots of this word in this entry, so if you are cringing right now, you might as well leave this page and stalk someone else).

First, I believe that love should be all about understanding and acceptance. You know what they say about seeing beyond your partner's faults? That one is true. Every person in love would understand this. It is like the saying "love is blind" but not quite. It is more of acknowledging your partner's shortcoming and accepting it in a way that will not sway you from reality. I mean, if you really love a person, you would embrace his/her whole humanity. Besides nobody's perfect, right?

Second, there's no half-measure in love. Go all out. You might lose yourself in the process, but you know what? That's when you'll learn to love your own person. And when you learn that, that's when you'll be able to love someone with all your existence. Sounds romantic? Of course.

Third, love is love. There are different stages and kinds of love. The bottomline is, it is still love. If you believe and if you truly feel as if it is love, then who are to tell you that it is not? Besides, what love is not true?

Fourth, all is fair in love and war. However, you must remember that there are rules, whether written or not, in war. What more in love? BUT! You must also remember that some rules are meant to be broken in order to find and to get the person you love. It's just a matter of timing and how far you will go for the sake of love.

Last, all of these are purely relative. You might agree or disagree with me. You may deem my beliefs illogical or whatever. It's up to you. And yes, please do entertain me. What do you think about love?

Sleep is for the Faint-Hearted

My mom always nags about the benefits of a good night sleep. Even my sister always asks me what do I get for sleeping late when I have to wake up early in the morning for work. Little did they know that is that I want doing things without them lurking on my back and asking me what I am doing/writing. I love it when time is at my mercy. I like it when it is quiet, I can do all the things I am about to do. I think I lose hours of awesomeness whenever I sleep. Though I am cranky whenever I lack sleep, I can put up with that. I get cranky at myself. Besides, why do I need to sleep at night when I can be sleep working during the day?

I will not be surprised if I die of Leukemia or severe Anemia (though I know that lack of sleep is not a cause of such disease.) At the very least, I will not be surprised if I get fired for being such a lousy employee (Oh gods, employee does not sound really friendly to me.) Not at all.

Old Songs and New Hopes

I stayed up until 3am this day, so that pretty much explains why I have two entries on the same date. I woke up at 11:15am (way too early for a Saturday morning!) I got hold of Sherlock Holmes beside me and started reading for I was too lazy move. I read some sentences until my mind drifted away from the book.

A sudden realization dawned on me. I am not a novelist in the making. I am an essayist (or much more like it than a novelist.) I wondered for some minutes to ponder upon that realization. It was indeed one of my golden moments--knowing, realizing, and understanding. So yeah. That was just about it. And I got back to reading.

Before long, I found myself being flooded with sceneries of London 1880s. It was until my phone rang that reality swallowed me again. So I answered it, talked to my mom and ended the conversation after sometime. After that, I decided to open the computer and Zenki. I gave up on Sherlock Holmes and decided that I will just watch some good movies. But then, the internet was so enticing I could not control myself from binge blogging.

That's why I am writing this. Right now, I am listening to Betterman by Pearl Jam, while Zenki is playing The Series of Unfortunate Events (the movie!) I wanted to write about how old songs make me feel good and hope for some more, but this entry is too boring.

I HATE NOISY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS!!! I cannot concentrate on the things that I am about to do.

Pen and Paper

I only know one thing: I am too young to be tired.

Lately, I have been feeling tired and depressed. I just feel hormonal. I just want to be able to write again. I don't know. I keep on looking for something, like an inspiration. I need it.

For the past four years, I have not been able to produce any decent creative output. I have failed myself. I have failed my potentials. I know it. But every time I try to write something sensible (not like this blog-slash-rant), I get a mental block (I beg not to use a writer's block). I cannot sustain and give justice to a good idea I have in mind. The inspiration seems to be flickering on and off in my head. I cannot manipulate the words and the elements like I used to.

This is largely my fault. I have succumbed to the notion that I cannot get something out of being a writer. As a result, I have neglected my writing stints just to give way to a more sensible occupation. I guess I have neglected it too much for so long that I cannot remember how I used to get away with words. I have succumbed to mediocrity... Now I just feel tired and depressed. Being unable to write something creative is making me sad.

I wish I knew how to end this stagnation.

No, I am not bored.

I am not bored. I am not bored. I am not bored.

My mantra for the past few hours. Not that I am in denial, but I actually realized that I am not bored. I am just running out of interesting things to do. Though I have a list of writing exercises to accomplish, a pile of books to read, and a junk of movies to watch, I still find these things unbearable. I can't just stop myself from fidgeting whenever I try to read, write, or watch. I need to get out. I need to have a life, but instead I am stuck at home doing this blog entry.

A while ago, I just finished downloading episode 15 to 17 of Chuck and Season Finale of House. I tried watching them, but I ended up glancing scene by scene. I could not believe that I just skimmed through Chuck (and House)! CHUCK! That's Chuck, my favorite TV series (which should be second to the most interesting things in the whole universe). Then, after I was done watching Chuck and House, I continued reading Prince Caspian. After some paragraphs, I got irritated and stopped reading. I thought of something interesting to do... So I told to myself, "Why not rant about how bored you are and how hard you keep yourself from being totally bored?". So here. But then... As I am typing all these words on this semi-blank page, I realized I should be eating breakfast and lunch now. Oh god. I have nothing left to do.

I am not bored. There's just nothing interesting to do. Okay fine, I am bored. I think I should go out, but I'm broke. So I might just stay at home and be bored all the way.