I only know one thing: I am too young to be tired.
Lately, I have been feeling tired and depressed. I just feel hormonal. I just want to be able to write again. I don't know. I keep on looking for something, like an inspiration. I need it.
For the past four years, I have not been able to produce any decent creative output. I have failed myself. I have failed my potentials. I know it. But every time I try to write something sensible (not like this blog-slash-rant), I get a mental block (I beg not to use a writer's block). I cannot sustain and give justice to a good idea I have in mind. The inspiration seems to be flickering on and off in my head. I cannot manipulate the words and the elements like I used to.
This is largely my fault. I have succumbed to the notion that I cannot get something out of being a writer. As a result, I have neglected my writing stints just to give way to a more sensible occupation. I guess I have neglected it too much for so long that I cannot remember how I used to get away with words. I have succumbed to mediocrity... Now I just feel tired and depressed. Being unable to write something creative is making me sad.
I wish I knew how to end this stagnation.
Er. Writer-wanna-be here. I guess the fact that being a writer means not being paid well somehow, somewhat constitutes us/their being a writer. At the end of the day, a writer knows that he wont get paid much, but because writing is his passion, he pursues it, whatever salary he gets. :)
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