Beer Influence Speaking

Once in a blue moon.

I am never physically attractive when I was still in high school and/or in college. I am far from it. I usually get "the shrug" from people/guys signalling that I am not an interesting person to know. I get that, and I know it. In fact, I accept it long before I have known that I am not that attractive to the opposite sex. I have learned to acknowledge the fact that I am not really visually enticing. I mean, I have a common face with a typical chinita eyes and morena skin. I am very (South East) Asian, so to speak. I am not mestiza. And I am too macho for my own good.

I admit, I am not used to having guys like me (or having them notice me!). Believe me. Though I have an overpowering self-confidence, I am not really that open to the idea that guys might like/notice me in the She's-pretty-slash-likable-girl/boy/it sense.

I am truly one of the boys, really. I remember my friend telling me that I think and act like a boy. I believe her actually. I am gender insensitive (not that I am not aware of Gender Sensitivity), I admit that I sometimes go/agree with the guys with their some preconceived notions about girls. I am a hypocrite, I know (having been able to proclaimed myself to be slightly feminist LOLJK). I think like a guy in the sense that I do not want to leak any emotional hang ups to people (even my friends, no not my closest friends). I think like a guy because I feel that women should not give it all. (Yes! I am conservative when it comes to relationships). I think that men should be the one pursuing women. You know, the likes. I think like boys because I am simply machismo. I fail my gender, I am sorry. I act like a guy because I like guy things (not that I am bisexual or lesbian like everyone thinks so), because I see these things devoid of emotion but filled with passion. I am emotional, but I fail to let out what I actually feel. I am too objective for my own good (again!). I do not know how that happened. Do not ask me.

So you see. It is once in a blue moon event in my life to know that there are (of course!) some guys who think I am pretty (I am sorry, I am insecure with my physically characteristics). I am comfortable with myself (I like the way I am), but I am not used to the inevitable event that somebody might like me physically. Seriously. I do not think that I am that noticeable (even with a beer on my right hand). SO DO NOT MAKE ME A BALOT!

I do not know if this made any sense, but I know that if you know where this is coming from (that is, if you are my friend...) you will surely know this thing. Sorry. I fail as an object of attraction (having to brag this and shit). I guess, I had too much beer.

Do you think I am physically attractive or cute? Yes, I am fishing for a compliment here! LOLJK. And no, do not ask me, because I know that I am cute and I have "the personality" (LOL for that!). Seriously. What do you think? (And no, do not give me the you-are-beautiful-minus-the-actions-and-the-way-you-speak line. I know that already.