Unemotional and objective. That's me.
I admit that I am an objective person. I am not very emotional (or at least I am not very vocal with my hang ups). I am not a whiny person, though I can be at times (self-serving bias speaking). I think, I have been to a lot of emotional upheavals before that I could attest for myself that I am as emotional as anymore can be. I have been to several heartbreaks that I could say that I can feel such. I have been to a number of beginnings and endings that I know how I heart shattering it feels.
I can feel. Though I hate to admit it, I am emotional, too. I get upset, sad, and heartbroken like everyone else. I am not totally devoid of emotions. Really. I get hurt sometimes (but I do not usually admit it). I have had my heart broken twice, actually. I have been hurt. I have been screwed up by a couple of people. And whether you believe it or not, I cried for those moments, for the love-found-love-lost moments that I had. I cried so many nights like any hormonal girls do over a failed relationship. I may not have said it all, but I tried to. At least. I am not just that comfortable talking about feelings and emotions (much more if these things concerned me.) It might be because of the fact that I see such things as liability and weakness. And maybe that's the thing with me. I just cannot deal with my personal bullshits because I see them as a fucked up excuse to be weak and defenseless.
Maybe I am too macho for my own sake, but that's just me being me. Or maybe that's just me having a bout with machismo and beer.
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