Do not fall in love.

"It is either we are friends or we are not."

Through rigorous contemplation, I have come up with a decision almost two years ago never to fall in love with anyone, especially when that someone is a close friend (note: opposite sex). Though it is easy to fall in love with a close friend, it has many hang ups. It has its disadvantages

For one thing, the friendship is in big jeopardy. A person in love with his/her close friend tends to act and to react differently. S/he perceives the reality with rose colored glasses, and may misunderstand some actions of the person s/he is in love with. The relationship gets messy. The emotion gets tangled up with the platonic one, which may result to confusion and worse heartache. A person in love, no matter how s/he may deny it, expects something in return. There is no such thing as a free gift, much more an emotional investment. Expectations always come up in the process of falling in love with a close friend. And that's where the danger comes in. Expectations have its way of ruining everything. Believe me.

Another thing is the awkwardness of the situation. Come on. It does not feel "exactly right" to fall in love with a friend. Everything gets awkward because something has changed, "you" have changed. Everything gets mixed up, and reason starts to be blurred. Emotions are cluttered. And then one thing you'll notice: the friendship is not the same anymore, and it is your fault. It is your heart's fault.

So you see. Falling in love with a friend is messy. It confuses the mind. It breaks the heart. And it leads to the deterioration of the friendship, which is more important than the sexual relationship because it can last longer than the latter. One might argue that we cannot choose who to fall in love with, but I beg to disagree. We can choose the person we fall in love with. We can, just as we can choose to be happy or not. It just takes time sometimes.

So for those who feel like s/he is already starting to fall in love with her/his friend, restrain yourself. It is either you are friends with that person or you are not. You choose.