Regression

New life. New people. New friends to make.

So I have started working at the firm. There are a lot of new things to learn and new friends to make. I am still adjusting to the real world, and it is not uncommon for me to regress and to escape from reality. I still find myself lost amidst everything. I still find myself out of place. I feel a need to fit in.

It is like being in high school all over again with the office politics (which is a normal as ABC) as a bonus. I feel like I need to learn and to adapt faster. There'll be no grades. There's just an evaluation which is the basis of everything. It is either I performed well or I screwed up big time. It is either I get promoted/regularized or I get fired. There will be no in between shit. It is like what my professor told us, "You only have yourself to struggle with." And that's the problem with me. I just don't rely on myself alone. I also depend on my friends. But the thing is, my friends are not working for the same firm.

And I am not good at making new friends. Though people deemed me sociable, I would have to admit that it is not easy for me to settle and to be at ease with people whom I barely knew. This is the hard part of being older and cynic. Can I just go back to kinder where making new friends is as easy as borrowing your classmate's sharpener?