Mad World

Do you know what's worth fighting for when it's not worth dying for?

The world has its way of disappointing people. I remember quoting myself that the world is simply harsh. Apparently, I have not lived to my own realization. The world is always surprising me. Always. One moment I feel like I have mastered the art of getting along with it. Then the next moment I am lost amidst the uncertainties of life.

It is like the world is playing tricks on me. I always find myself at the edge of things. I am always hanging like a wanderer, clueless and pathless. I always feel as if the world is going bipolar on me; as if I am being thrown to the opposite side every now and then. There is no permanence. There is no certainty. There is no guarantee. There are just surprises, detours, and disillusionments in the process of getting thrown to a lesser firm ground.

The idealisms that I held high for almost a decade have been flushed down the drainage. I have been awaken from my long sleepless dream. I have been disappointed by a lot of things, but never in my life that I decided that the world is simply a shallow place where people get screwed up by the system... Until now. I have come to an impression that the world is like a larger high school ground. Always too much of everything to the point of being void of anything.

The ambiguity and the vagueness of the world can sometimes be challenging. But it gets boring as time passes. It disappoints me that even though I am too grounded on reality, I still get struck by the cruelty of the world.

Whatever. This is just me being ambiguous and vague at the same time.