Chasing Liberty

And so I failed.

I was supposed to inform the office manager that I am not going to continue working with the firm anymore. But then tons of work came. I forgot what I was supposed to accomplish today.

My day started with "Oh shit!" as I realized that it was already 7:30 in the morning and I have work. I stayed immobile for some 15 minutes to plan my strategy for the day. Should I drop the bomb to the manager first thing in the morning or should I wait until my paycheck is given? Should I leave my work at once or should I linger to finish my pending files? Should I do it or not? What are the pros and cons of leaving my job without any certainty about my future? That was the longest and the deepest 15 minutes of my life. Ever.

I dragged myself to work after that. The whole day was hazy for me since I was not myself and I was waiting for the right timing. All came swiftly. It all passed and went. But there are three things I can remember. First, my immediate superior started the day with, "Hoy Angeline! Madami kang rush." while I was having my coffee and small talk with two officemates. Second, the manager was cranky but he told me that I passed my first three months with flying colors. Third, I was swamped with work that I had no time to talk to the manager regarding my impending doom.

Aside from my failure to accomplish my personal task, I also failed to keep hope burning in my chest. I came to realize what a fool had I been last night. I totally busted my chance. So much for shooting for the moon, I guess.