Who's that girl?

It is that statement: I can never be that girl, can I?

After a series of failed experiments, I finally decided to take a leave from Cupid's Arena. It won't be permanent, of course. It is just that... It is not for me. Not now, at least.

As of this writing, I am in the process of healing from some events that I had no control whatsoever. I am in the process of accepting to myself that I just can never be that girl. I mean, I can't be the girl whom guys want as a girlfriend. I am far from being feminine. I speak, think, and act like a guy most of the time. I am not ultimately mushy over things. I am not into confrontation nor do I want to talk things over. I don't know, it's just that I am not comfortable talking about how I feel. I get awkward whenever that happens and I usually end up stuttering, trying to explain things which in return screws up everything. So, I just choose to shut up. I actually could go on and on with this, giving reasons as why I can never be that kind of girl, but I might end up describing someone I am not, so... Yeah. Whatever.

Though I can never be that girl for that certain person, I know I am someone's dream and reality (Yuck, spoken like a true romantic and conceited person.) Time will come when I will be able to hold someone's hand without cringing. Time will come when I will be able to speak of my emotions without even stuttering. It will definitely come sooner or later. But for now, I'll just live my ink All that and more, because honestly? I am all that and more.

The Return

Hi there, Stranger!

It's been months since I last updated this blog. Sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I know that I vowed to write more last year. Apparently, that didn't happen. Instead, I found myself caught in a terrible hangover that was 2011. To be more vague, life happened.

So... This year, I will not promise anything that is related to writing. I will just blog if and when my schedule and my brain permit me. I know I have to explain my absence, but I'm tired of it. Besides I have the habit of leaving the blogosphere every now and then, returning only whenever I feel the need to exorcise the demon in my head.

Anyway, since I'm in the mood to blabber about my weird and boring life, let me give you a list of the things that I did (or at least as I remember them) this January 2012.

1. Tried to get wasted by drinking alcohol nonstop from 9:00PM December 31, 2011 to 12:30PM January 1, 2012. Goal achieved? No. Didn't get wasted.
2. First day of work. Updated my journal (the tangible) and assessed 2011.
3. Woke
4. Up
5. Everyday
6. To
7. Work.
8. Didn't
9. Remember
10. Much
11. Of
12. It.
13. Went somewhere to do a personal errand.
14. "Closure." I wasn't asking for one, but it happened. I wasn't looking for it, it came to me. I just realized that I got to do what I need to do. It was not easy, but it was what I needed. Principles > Matters of the Heart, that's always my rule. Aside from that, I went to Zambales with high school friends (in which case, we call ourselves "Team Malaysia"). Though we were "na-Juno," we still pushed through it.
15. "Let's get lost in the haze of our childhood dreams and bask in moments of stolen freedom." Day 2 of our Zambales trip. Went to Potipot Island and slept the whole day. Tiring day.
16. Monday Routine with Sasha, Tin, and Beerday Boy Aris. I didn't get drunk, sad.
17. Busy day at the office. Multitasking will be the death of me.
18. "It gets better everyday." <3
19. Flaming Wings with Beks and Phen + Caffeine boost.
20. "I'll be here, wishing I could be there." Tea Party with Faith while Franz Ferdinand was in my ears.
21. "I am the man." Saturday. I did some house chores and watched She's the Man.
22. Hazy. Went out to do some personal errand. Went to Tin's to grab free dinner.
23. Happy birthday, Mom! To the strongest and coolest person I know, cheers to another year of dealing with my shenanigans.
24. "Drunken stupor makes me forget." Mandarin Wok with officemates.
25. "You just get used to it." Had Ze Talk with Faith.
26. "It gets better, right?"
27. Today, I wrote my first blog entry for 2012. Hooray?

There you go. Four days left until the first month of this year is over. Soon, it'll be Valentine's Day already, which means... Cagayan de Oro trip! I hate to anticipate, but I know that 2012 is going to be better. Right?